#IM A FOOL AND A FAILURE

[muchmossymess]

It might be the weirdo in me but imagine an anamatic to the song shiny from moana with an evil/antagonist revali as the crab and link trying to recover the master sword as maui and zelda as moana

[spookythesillyfella]

Hey man I know you're scared of the new year and change but like. That change doesn't have to be one big life changing thing. You can discover a new song or band. Find out about a cool new hobby. Become friends. Make a piece of art you're really proud of. Take a different path home. Change is gradual

i can totally see where you're coming from . and i really appreciate the help you're trying to offer . but thiz doezn't really help . frankly

if anything . it'z just all the more scary

to never know when something will change – when i'll listen to my favorite track for the last time before i get sick of it . when i'll talk to someone for the last time before they inevitably leave – itz scary

and i don't exactly like to leave my comfort zone in the first place . so the chancez of discovering some fun new hobby are quite low – ive been stuck with drawing and writing for like four yearz already and i haven't exactly found anything else that stickz ://

i get that you're trying to help and i very much do appreciate it – i rarely get people willing to actually offer support or wordz of reassurance – but the fact nothing iz stationary iz still scary ; even the smallest of changez can snowball into something bigger . and the uncertainty of it all only makez it more horrifying

i do hope you have a good new year . kind soul – the best year you could have

[snailification]

I used to pray for a girlfriend back in elementary school. I didn't care who. Just wanted one!

Like I vidily remember crying and flipping through pages of Victorious Secret magazines and being like "this one"

And it wasn't just a few tears, I was crying hard so that god knew I was serious!

[strawberrysweater]

.

[coyoxxtl]

im rly hoping switching to working mornings works out for me bc nights are lonely nd i have no energy for fucking anything and i want to fucking, draw regularly again damnit

[tryingthoughts]

something to look forward to: not having to hear my mom yelling through the phone at her mom. my mother calls my grandmother every day so some reasons that are best known to herself (i have my theories about that), and every time they talk i hear my mother get heated, yell her strong opinions through the phone. yelling about how her opinion is right and all who disagree are bad people or whatever, but also claiming to not judge so absolutely as that.

my mother is a highly judgmental person, at least from my point of view. she calls my grandmother and asks about the news from the family (she only talks to one of her siblings of her choice), and every time she casts judgment on their choices, sounds super duper petty, and then claims that she wont judge because she's got only half a story.

her favourite topics of conversation are her nieces and nephews. a few weeks ago she was talking to my grandmother about her brother's children (who are both adults and currently living with their dad and mom with their continued permission and support). these two nieces have long bothered her for reasons unknown to me (probably reasons she doesn't admit to herself), and she was making comments about them living with their parents still. she said they were juvenile staying with their parents, and that when you live with your parents you don't grow. meanwhile, there i was in the next room over, hearing her say these things about my cousins, but also about me because, what do you know? i am an adult living with my parents as well!

it makes me quite upset to hear her on the phone with my grandmother or my aunt. every day i think about how i want to get out of here, but that seems so massive a task, so many variables, this can't be reality. it must be a dream. im so tired of this stuff.

gotta try and remember some good things. some positives for today: i dyed my hair purple again and i really like the colour; i finished knitting a little stuffed slug i saw on pinterest; and i had an enjoyable watch of Strange Magic, a movie that reminds me of a happier me with my siblings.

[sunfl0werlevi]

HOME

ʚ✩ɞ ratings: sfw, angst to fluff, comfort

ʚ✩ɞ cw/tw: jjk manga chapter 221 spoilers! slight angst and depressive tones. slight sexual tones hehe.

ʚ✩ɞ wc: 10.5k

ʚ✩ɞ tags: gojo satoru x fem!reader, husband gojo and wife reader are teachers

ʚ✩ɞ an: hi! yes, this is the first time ill be sharing one of the many works i have in my drafts (that im confidently not sharing ever). idek how it got this long. gojo being unsealed triggered something in me so i hope u enjoy. ( ˘ ³˘)♥

italicized texts are past dialogues! FEEDBACKS are highly appreciated.

you stared at the golden band around your ring finger, toying it around. your bed seemed to stretch twice its size and grow colder every morning that you wake up.

every morning, you trace the outline of the dips on his side of the bed. you left it dismantled the way he did, since 19 days ago. you could still see a few strands of silver hair on his pillow glowing under the daylight.

"satoru, please."

"you know there's a lot of souvenir shops in shibuya! maybe i'll take you to some if you're a good little wifey."

"you told me we're working together on this. just let me fight alongside with you-" you pouted and so he gives you a wet smack on the cheek and booped your nose.

"babe, my honey, sweetiepie, you're on children duties!"

"no fair!"

"don't worry, ijichi will take you there. toodles!" and then he warped out.

fools. you didn't even know half of the shit that was about to set loose.

the wooden sliding door of your shared room slammed open, startling you out of your thoughts. there stood an out of breath yuuji with both his hands clinging on to either side of the door frame.

"sensei," he looked at you with determination, a sense of sparkle behind his eyes.

no. no.

you can't have this right now. not right now. you were not ready--not when what you've been preparing yourself for was the worst. but this? this wasn't in your plan.

any indication of hope from him has all been but failure. you were under the high of false hope but now...now, you don't even know how to respond with this pressing matter in front of you.

what kind of wife are you to even think that way? will he even understand if you feel this way?

but you are here now and he is here now.

his frame stood patiently behind your student, waiting for you to say anything. but only the sound of your shallow, shuddering breaths filled the room.

the pink-haired boy staggered backwards to leave, as to give room to your man.

doors were always never tall enough for satoru so he has to duck down in order to grace the room with his presence. his presence that is so invigorating, with his own hint of charisma.

and there he is. he is still so beautiful. his alabaster hair unreasonably still glimmering. your eyes were met with the color of the sky--lustrous and comforting, anticipating you.

but beneath this façade, they were chagrin and desolated, designed with heavy lids and undereye bags that loitered his skin.

the man that came to face you is not your satoru. although indulging with the fact that he looks bigger, more rugged, with his toned arms filling up the sleeves of his shirt--this satoru is only the shell of the man that you used to know.

he scratched his neck, his eyes crinkling into a smile as he gave you a small assuring grin. he opened his arms, wide and warm, welcoming you into a zone you knew all too well.

"c'mere."

though against your will, your body seemed to have a mind of its own--lunging forward to the sense of familiarity that is in front of you. amidst the unconvinced and confused face you held, your body knew how much you ached for this moment and alas your feet brought you towards him.

he gripped your waist so tightly, so much that he could break you in half like--like there were no tomorrow.

words could not even begin to detail this feeling. missing him is an understatement. no--you yearned for him--for his touch, for his smell, for his warmth. for this moment.

you sank deeper into his broad chest. the feeling and the sound of his heartbeat confirming that this is all true and not just a pigment of your imagination, or not you going insane.

he stuck his nose on top of your head, breathing in your smell. god, he could cry. he missed you so much and he was going insane because he was beginning to forget what his favorite shampoo you use smells like.

the silence was both so comforting yet so delicate. there are both no words yet too many words to tell. one pin drop could make or break the atmosphere. a paradox in the flesh. just in character for your husband.

but just in time, he spoke up, breaking the tension. you had imagined this moment, him apologizing or saying i love you, over and over. but no, he yet again breaks the record.

"thank you."

the last thing you wanted was to ever forget him. so, you listened to every voice messages, voice mails, and videos that he sent you every day like it was a routine and a lullaby before you sleep.

you would not forgive yourself if you forgot what he sounds like.

with the sound of his voice triggering the turmoil in you, your chin quivered and your throat burned in an agonizing pain. all of the weeping and mourning you've suppressed poured out onto his shirt.

he brushed your hair and cooed you into silent hushes.

"i'm sorry."

"satoru, she never cried," shoko said.

gojo sat silently on shoko's loveseat chair with both his arms resting on its armrest. he is finally relaxed which unfortunately meant that he has the time to think.

all of the guilt is finally blossoming inside of him.

for the longest time, he wished that he'd be rid of all the burdens that are pushed onto his shoulders. he wanted to run away. with you.

but he knew that his being makes everything complicated and you'd be in greater danger beside him than staying with everybody else.

so, him being in that damned box? his wish came true. was he selfish to somehow feel relieved while being isolated, knowing everything he left behind and all the chaos that ensued?

his colleague and good friend, nanami, who all but strayed away from jujutsu, was pushed towards it again by gojo. and now he's gone.

his teacher and a parent that he considered, principal yaga, lost his life fighting for everyone--especially for the children that gojo was supposed to protect.

his students--tiny but fighter nobara, with half of her head barely even of any shape and unresponsive on a pale hospital bed. yuuji who always graced a smile, now looked like he aged a dozen. and megumi--his son, who always quietly rooted and stood for everyone, lost his hope and is now a vessel to sukuna.

and you. he could not even begin to think how much of a toll it took on you.

"she kept everyone glued together, you know. when everything was falling apart after you...you were gone, she held all of their hands."

shoko blew a smoke out of her office window then tapped her cigarette onto an ashtray. "every day, she cleans nobara's body with a wet towel. when the students would come back with all unimaginable injuries, she tended to them with all of her reversal."

"satoru, i had to clinically force her, just so i could tend to her own injuries for a day. she did not want to stop working as if..."

"as if she will lose it, if she stopped," he finished the sentence, holding a firm gaze with shoko.

she and him knew what it was like to grieve for someone but still having all the responsibilities demanded at every second.

gojo, whether everybody admits or not, was their source of hope. the students gravitated towards him, and even curses do not fail to see the light that he shines--attracting them like moths to a flame.

he tended to everyone's troubles, to the bullshit of the higher-ups that even led to him killing his own bestfriend.

but you-you are the damned closest thing to him. you were his half. you are his half. and everybody knew you are a gojo too.

so they all went to you. for 19 whole days, you shared, albeit, owned his responsibilities. and you had to keep it together.

you should not fall apart. you cannot fall apart. the children relied on you for their strength and you kept them all stuck together like a little patched-up family of your own.

you became him. a true gojo. although it sounds gratifying, it was the last thing that he wanted for you to ever encounter.

he never wanted to share his pain and bare all of his weaknesses to you. but you unconditionally took them all, without any words nor complaints.

"she-she wasn't there."

"she didn't want to be disheartened and defeated if it had failed. you were gone and she is here. still here. you know where to find her, so go."

it wasn't just you. he also does not have the heart to see your face yet--he never really had a say on when he was getting released, anyway.

but he went to you.

your palms cupped his face, searching every inch of his skin like it is something foreign. his large hands held onto them, rubbing slow and soft circles on it.

"i've missed you...so much." you mumbled, risking a hiccup and another bout of tears to pour out of you. he dried your cheeks with both his thumbs.

"i know. i know, sweetheart," his voice was soft, barely a whisper, as he brought his lips towards your eyes.

he kissed your eyes tenderly, as if commanding for them to close for a minute. satoru knew how much you needed to crack--he wanted you to fall apart on him and he can pick up all of the pieces. he can make you whole again.

he can hold you together with his warm hands, thawing and melting you into a puddle of your own unresolved emotions. molding you exactly, to fit perfectly right where you belong.

right here. right next to him.

to him, you are the apple of his six eyes. the immeasurable devotion of his limitless. and the bottomless beloved of his infinity.

he could never leave you again. not like that. not ever.

he pressed his forehead against yours, his proximity tickling you with his breath and his pillowy lips brushing against yours. he rubbed his nose on yours and his eyelashes feather on your cheek.

"i love you," he rubbed his thumbs on both your cheeks while holding your gaze, accessing all of your senses with his presence.

he wants you to know, he's here.

he tentatively leans closer, only kissing you daintly. "kiss me. kiss me, satoru."

and so he planted his hand at the small of your back, leaning forward, obliging to your words. he kisses you--deeply and passionately. your mouth presses eagerly, gliding with his lips fervently without any lapses, like your life depended on it.

you put your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss even more. he gripped your hips tightly, pulling you impossibly closer to him.

satoru is trying his best to not tear your clothes off, on behalf of his student waiting outside.

"god-" he retracted, staring at your eyes.

"i-" he kisses your neck "-missed you-" your chin "-so-" your nose "-much."

there is no reason for the both of you to be separated at all. not anymore.

and so he interlocks your pinkies together like he always did. you giggled and he grins widely.

"i'm here. i'm home."

[pinkysberg]

"dutch shot micah for john" "no, dutch shot micah for arthur"

idk maybe im dumb but i have always been under the impression that dutch shot micah for himself. sure, avenging arthur or protecting john could have been a thought in the back of his mind. though, i imagine he loses everything, pushes everyone away, arthur dies at his feet and in that moment he realizes micah's lead him astray and he fell for it.

i don't think dutch has the self awareness to realize his fault in this situation, and if he does he burries if under the misconstrued idea that micah's entirely to blame. he's been shamed, embarrassed and abandoned and if there's anything we come to learn throughout rdr2 it's that he can't stand being embarrassed, he can't stand being duped, and he never takes responsibility for being naive. bronte leads dutch astray and instead of going, "i was naive to think he was trustworthy and i shouldn't have taken him up on that lead" he kills bronte and creates an even larger problem. instead of going, "i was wrong to not trust hosea when he tried to dissuade me from robbing cornwall." he simply continues to create further issues.

he's been made a fool by micah. he wants revenge. john wanted revenge and when dutch is asked what he's doing there, he says "same as you, i suppose."

yes, micah bringing up arthur seems to trigger dutch however i think it's likely more about dutch feeling as though his pride has been bruised by being forced to remember his failures where arthur's concerned and less about the disrespect being shown to arthur in that moment.

dutch at his core is shown to be selfish. he is self involved, prideful, vengeful, and entirely lacking in self-awareness.

[fairyminnie444]

hey! for the past 2 weeks tried manifested passing an exam. before exam i was so freaking calm and i felt that i ve already achieved it and i don't really care abt 3D but rn i got my results and i didn't pass??? honestly i freaked out, couldn't feel my stomach but im getting back to the mindset of my 4D is the only reality and 3D will catch up to it but idk exactly what to do and how it went down. i would really appreciate it if you can respond!!!!

You don't "try" to manifest,

When you decide, it's already yours. Time doesn't exist, so when you decide, you already become what you want to be. You can't stay in "waiting mode".

Dont be fooled by the reflection of 3D. What you are experiencing is just the echo of a previous state, not the final decree of your reality. 3D has no power over you; you are the one who creates it.

If you didn't pass the exam now, it doesn't mean that you failed in manifestation. It just means that you are being invited to persist in the desired state, to recognize the true power that resides within you. Don't be carried away by external vision; keep your eyes fixed on your imagination, because it is the only reality.

Remember: there is no failure in manifestation, only opportunities to strengthen your faith. Persistence is the key. Hold firm to the feeling that you are already who you want to be, and the external world will be forced to bow before your imagination.

The law is infallible, and your victory is certain. Time does not matter; what matters is your determination to inhabit the desired state. Stay confident, for everything you imagine with faith must manifest.

[marshmellowzz]

can i req a short scenario of muzan with a wife!reader (human or demon, it's up to you!) where they are just..so madly in love it's embarrassing for everyone else in the room (like the upper moons can't help but cringe at how in-love they are)? i've always found this idea funny lol

Like Lovesick Puppies

A/N- Hi anon, im sorry for the wait! Thank you for requesting, I had so much fun writing this short scenario, and I hope you like it!

The uppermoon meetings held a certain unprofessionalism— Mostly due to Douma’s incessant joking around, and the snide remarks that were thrown around without a second thought.

Muzan pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He should have dismantled the uppermoons long ago— dealing with their childish dramatics and continuous failures to find the single flower he had been searching for was becoming too much to bare.

‘Remember, Muzan, you need them.’ Was a thought that repeated in his mind continuously, like a mantra.

As much as Muzan hated to admit it. The uppermoons were a great advantage to his side. They truly were his sole magnum opus.

His grip tightened on the flask he held, a slight crack appeared under the pressure of Muzan’s grip.

“Dearest, are you alright?” He paused at the sound of such a sweet, melodious voice that he recognized to be yours.

He inhaled.

He exhaled.

“No.” He admitted, he was not the type to beat around the bush, after all.

Before you could speak up, he continued.

“It’s been multiple decades—and these fools have done nothing of what I asked.” His voice lowered threateningly, the fortress trembling under the controlled vexation of his voice.

At this point, the Uppermoons had all silenced themselves—if not from instinct, then from the fear of getting punished by their Lord.

“I want the Ubuyashiki family dead—Yet, even that is too much to ask for, apparently.” Muzan spat, venom and sarcasm lacing his words. The flask completely shattered under Muzan’s grasp, and a prominent vein bulged out of his forehead.

He shot you a glance, observing your patient expression.

His attention was directed to you, now.

“I understand,” you simply said, hoping he’d calm down.

He shook off the broken remainders of flask onto his desk, any freshly made cuts healing instantaneously. He head towards you—grabbing your arm in a vice grip.

You winced, trying to hold your silence—you knew better than to question your husbands antics.

“You always understand me, don’t you?” His voice in a hushed tone, which was uncharacteristic for him.

His grip on your arm loosened, he nestled his nose into the crook of your neck, feeling the slow—yet shaky rise of your chest.

“I love you,” you whispered.

He hummed in approval.

“How much do you love me, hm?” He challenged, his hands beginning to wander, both finding a place onto your waist.

“More than all the stars in the sky,”

Gyutaro almost gagged,

Daki stared at her kin in horror, what the fuck is going on? written all over her face.

The languid strums of a biwa had soon filled the fortress, and Muzan had begun to sway you side to side.

He placed a small kiss on your nose, your giggles reverberating around the fortress along with the strums of the instrument.

“Would you die for me?” Muzan inquired, his hands fastened into your hips and waist.

“Yes,” was all you replied with.

Muzan hummed, revelling in this newfound information.

“You always know how to satisfy me, don’t you, dearest?” Muzan sighed, he had not a care in the world that his subordinates had first class seats to him and his wife’s love-fest.

He loves when you try soothing his frustrations,

He loves how you obediently do as he says,

He loves how you tell him what he wants to hear,

He loves you.

He’d never say it outloud, though.

“I am infatuated with you.” Muzan finally uttered, and even you found yourself feeling surprised. That was as close to an “I love you” as you’ll get.

Akaza nearly shriveled up and died right there, he looked around to observe the others—for once, he hoped he was not the only one seeing this at the moment.

Douma looked as carefree as ever, however, he was eerily quiet as he watched Muzan cradle you steadily.

“What the hell is going on?…” Gyokko poked a head out of his vase, watching the scene before him unravel. “Why are they doing that?...” He gestured towards you and Muzan, gazing into each others eyes like lovesick puppies.

“Gyokko.” Muzan started.

“Yes.”

“Shut up.”

“Oh, ok, of course, sorry.”

Ignoring Gyokko, Akaza glanced at Kokushibo, his usual indifferent expression visible—He wasn’t sure how Kokushibo could endure this torture, that took another kind of strength.

Perhaps that was why he was Uppermoon One.

“Muzan-sama…Are we…Dismissed?” Kokushibo spoke up, he clearly desired to leave, and to never speak of this again—nevermind, it seems that the amount of love between you and Muzan was too powerful for even Kokushibo to endure.

Akaza couldn’t help but humor the situation slightly.

“Get out of my sight.” Muzan spoke once again, finally giving them permission to leave.

For the first time, Akaza felt thankful towards Kokushibo, and his respect grew a tad bit more.

The whole ordeal also seemed to shut Douma up, so perhaps it wasn’t that bad.

They had all left without incident, and you and Muzan continued to embrace each other until Muzan was satisfied.

Nakime wanted to gouge her eyes out, but she stayed resilient, and continued to strum her biwa wordlessly.

[xxnomadsxx]

so floyds colors in the movie look just ever so slightly duller than they did when the brozone bros were younger (at least to me) and that coupled with the down facing ear tips leads me to believe he’s a little gray himself (not surprising after…everything)

maybe thats one of the reasons he didn’t come back? he used to be the sensitive one, most likely the peace maker of the family who tried to talk things out (as seen when he tries to talk vanner into letting him go) and put on a smile to hide his own issues

what if he didn’t come back because he couldn’t do that anymore? that the issues he kept to himself were starting to affect his color and he thought others knowing would cause more issues then it would solve? that is until he was kidnapped and physically couldn’t.

now don’t be fooled im not defending him leaving branch alone by any means it was still a terrible thing to do im honestly just speculating with the little screen time floyd got

i love your au and the fun ideas that come with it keep it up with the amazing work!

also may i be dubbed 🐝 anon?

Thanks for the love!!! And don’t worry I’ll keep it up!

Floyd definitely had to have been grey right?!!?! Especially for a good period of time since his ears were deformed similar to Branch’s and when the other trolls went grey there ears stayed the same so he had to have been grey for a good period of time (maybe he turned grey during a rough patch in his solo career and felt like a failure leaving Branch for a failing career)

Honestly it would be hypocritical of me to hate on Floyd for not coming back because he was ashamed of being grey (when a part of the grey village au is how all the grey pop trolls are to ashamed to go back to pop village)

I give the brothers a lot of hate as you can see in my past posts with how the village is shown to despise them! When in reality I do LOVE them to!! I just have a lot of hate for their actions and feel they should be given consequences for them, such as their brother moving on and getting a new family (plus an entire village that hates them) Honestly I think it’s fine that they left, family can’t be forced to stay with you your entire life (like when your siblings go to college) my problem is how they left during an ARGUMENT! How they cut contact, How they left A BABY!!! In a town with a yearly genocide of trolls (and their grandma) He was left in the care of an old lady, an old lady who was old (I have nothing against grandparent caretakers) She would have had a difficult time raising a baby with her age (not to mention being a gambler, weird thing to learn about her) She seems to have done really well raising Branch from flashbacks in the show or when she’s talked about BUT STILL!! She also could’ve dropped dead any second (who knows what a trolls life expectancy is?!?!?! She could’ve been on death’s doorstep for all we know!)My point is they left him in a bad environment where he could die by the hands of troll eating Bergens Rosie did good, but she was old (also she let all her underage grandkids leave LIKE WHAT??!!?!! She was just playing rummy during the fight too 😦 wtf Rosie!!!)

Sorry this was a bit of a rant- and I don’t mean to offend anyone with how I think it was bad that grandma Rosiepuff was made his guardian because she is old!! I was mostly speaking through my cousins experience with how grandparents can’t be as attentive as they should when taking care of a kid (let alone a baby) because of their age, they will try their best they just have problems due to being older (I mean their bodies aren’t exactly as they used to be)

[okkos-ferrum]

gray and sharing screentime with himself

in my current brainrot over a singular character, i decided to compile all the distinctions between gray and graham

looking at a very rough approximation of the screen time gray has throughout the show, the weird thing is that he is himself at the beginning and at the end.

graham takes many actions during s1 and s2 that differ from the gray we meet in the train in s1

Name: from found cut content from the original pilot of cs before netflix, it is carmen who suggests gray as graham's nickname. gray takes it without much care. graham, on the other hand, insists on his full name. seen in s2 ep7, both when carmen meets him up at the cafe and after FALLING FROM A PARAGLIDER. when asked his name during s4 ep3, his va emphasizes graham -- though i could be reading into things. guess brainwashing came along with a hatred with nicknames lol (probably to prevent carmen ever triggering gray's memories)

Life goal: we get gray's interview tape that showed his interest in vile, revealing not only was he a criminal before vile but he primarily "[wants] to be successful". (In cut content, during the detention scene where they all discuss code names, gray refuses sheena's suggestion of power failure because he didn't want to be thought of as a failure). gray joined vile because he didn't want to play within the system, believing he's deserving of success more than others due to his own skills so he's better off cheating the system. in contrast, graham in s1 ep6 declines being carmen's guide due to having to go to work early to fix something. He even declines carmen's payment for his work during s2 ep7, only stopped cuz carmen is good at dramatically disappearing. he is so diligent that within eight months, he was able to work up to be a lighting tech from just starting out as an electrician. meanwhile, he gave up being a junior electrican at the Sydney opera house as a teen due to disatisfaction (idk anything abt australia but isnt being a junior electrcian at the sydney opera house a big deal??)

Morality: most blatantly in his line "but we are the good guys" in s2 ep7 (i think he repeats this again during his interrogation with acme in s4), graham has a sense of morality that gray obviously would lack since he joined vile willingly. gray has no issues with stealing and has had a clear arrogance in his abilities ever since he was a teen. killing doesn't seem to be off the table for him, but he only does so if that compromises his mission. (for example, he gives chase a chance to leave during s4 ep 7, so he def isn't taking any excuse to take a life). graham's main act of "goodness" is risking his own life to save a kid in s4 ep3. while im sure gray is heartless enough to watch a kid die, i dont think he would be as ready to risk himself for a stranger. he likely would be more apathetic and would do so if it has some benefit to him or look the other way -- right after saving the kid, "crackle" steals the nameless kid's wallet with a smile. from his confrontation with carmen in the himalyas, he responds to carmen using his old words as him being an "innocent fool", dimissing whatever he believed then as not his own

crackle is another semi identity we get from gray during the fugue state he enters following regaining his memories from acme. it seems to be just due to how drastic the memories are for graham's mind to handle, the split is very direct, with "crackle" - all of gray's training and criminal instincts - being pretty non verbal (he does i think talk on the phone with vile once) and expresionless (he does have an evil little smile after stealing nameless kid's wallet but thats abt it). it honestly is dropped fast once gray is arrested (had to bolt the moment it faced consequences or whatever lol) but it def was entertaining to watch

overall it is just so odd how gray himself is barely in show and if u were to cut out the graham stuff, gray's arc of reconciling his relationship with carmen is largely unchanged. goes to show how wasted the cool amnesia plot stuff was (tho i like brainwashing angst, but i dont blame anyone for not enjoying it. it takes away a lot of the autonomy gray could've had in actually making his morally gray decisions). it honestly feels like they pumped the break of the brainwashing angst we were getting from gray and give it to carmen for the final arc tbh

[limetameta]

We are not the same

You love Benjamin Linus because he's a cunt of a man

I love Benjamin Linus because he gets his ass whooped on screen every other episode

Which I think works SO WELL for a character like him. Because if there were no consequences to his shit starting it would be a Gary Stu situation where its like oh Ben is just so op and smart and super intelligent and hes pitting side against side. Puppetmaster supreme. Well jokes on you!! Characters like that are annoying unless they have some sort of nerf.

BOY HOWDY DOES BENJAMIN LINUS HAVE THAT! I THINK EVERY OG CAST MEMBER HAS BEATEN THE SHIT OUT OF HIM BY NOW.

Chefs kiss. Best idea ever. U just dont see that in tv these days. This man is eating knuckle sandwiches almost hourly. In front of his DAUGHTER too lmaoo. Freak. Get ratioed.

Which might also all be a part of his strategy to get shit done and be underestimated but HES WILLING TO PUT HIMSELF IN SITUATIONS. HES LIKE I FUCKED AROUND AND OH GOD DID I FIND OUT!!

Most villains these days get to fuck around and very rarely *fail* time and time again meanwhile Ben is like I AM REACHING NEW LEVELS OF FAILURE EVERY DAY BUT I AM EVOLVING AND KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO PLAY THESE SUCKERS AGAINST ONE ANOTHER - FAILS AGAIN - FUCKING DAMN IT OK ILL TRY THIS INSTEAD - GETS SHOT - I KNOW HOW TO PLAY THIS ANGLE - GETS PUNCHED IN THE FACE (MAN HAS LIKE 4 STACKED CONCUSSIONS BY THIS POINT) - THEY'RE ALL FOOLS AND IM NOT

Top tier character. We dont make them like this anymore.

[lem0nl-me]

Pines Twins HC time

Caffeine consumption is as follows: Dipper takes his time a drinks caffeinated tea in the morning and Mable just downs an energy drink as soon as she wakes up. (or has a few shots of Mable juice if she has any on hand)

For Dipper, he REFUSES to admit he's a tea drinker. Grunkle Stan caught him making some one time and just hasn't let it go. He's started to call it "coffee" to try to get Grunkle Stan off his back, he's tired of getting called a tree hugger old lady. He's not fooling anyone tho as on multiple different occasions in the past he has openly admitted to hating coffee.

(ik i spelt coffee wrong- it's 3:30 am cut me some slack 😭🙏)

For Mable, i'd like to think she picked up a Monster one day cuz she liked the name then got HOOKED. She's definitely moved on from monster and is probably on Bang atm. Dipper isn't to fond of her energy drink consumption, even though she only has one a day he'd rather her drink a full quart of Mable juice. He's convinced she's going to die of heart failure within the next few years. (he's probably right, all the candy along with Bang energy every day isn't too great for her health)

prepare yourselves im boutta drop so much stuff for my future AU 😼

[teenwolf-confessions]

Liam is a Scorpio although he definitely has Leo placements, his confidence and his charm and his sass is very Leo, but I wouldn’t say it’s his sun sign. Brett, Theo and Hayden all transformed from general assholes to soft lil simps purely from having Liam in their life. Scott changed from a lovesick wolf to a responsible fatherly alpha from having to care for Liam - he’s very transformative and leaves an impact on the people around him. He keeps his emotions locked up tight, stubbornly telling everyone he’s fine (watch the zoo scene with Theo - he says ‘I’m fine’ like 7 times). Even in the car after, he doesn’t actually say why he was so freaked out at the zoo, he is very tight lipped and Theo holds most of the conversation. When we first see him, he also purposely restrains from telling Scott and Stiles that he was kicked out, simply saying he was transferred - very private like a scorpio. he also isn’t opposed to emotional manipulation i.e. crying to get Scott and Stiles to untie him and using Scott’s friendship w Stiles to convince him to let Theo stay. He can also be quite cutting - ‘Should’ve left you in the ground, think you rotting down there….Im not gonna help you or save you, I’m gonna use you as bait’ - knows what to say to hit someone where it hurts. Very observant and smart as well (watch the scene with him sussing out Monroe in S6). His anger is far more long term and lasts, like him holding a grudge against Brett and Theo. Scott tried to talk him down when Liam was trying to kill him but he kept going for ages until Mason, very Scorpio-like anger - very powerful and stubborn. Aries anger is up and down in two seconds hence why he ain’t Aries. His way of tackling things/obstacles far bigger than him through sheer willpower is very Scorpio i.e. taking on a hellhound stronger than Parrish and winning, being thrown through a window and still being able to fight, having his chest slashed open and insisting that he’s fine.

Theo is Pisces for sure. People will be screaming Scorpio but he’s not. Pisces are like chameleons, they morph into and blend in with their environment - the doctors wanted him to be a manipulative murderer and from their personas as well, he became that. And he became what qualities were appealing to the pack to try and fool them - very Pisces-esque deception and manipulation. Scorpios also don’t lie, they value authenticity and honesty a lot so they ain’t gonna be pretending to be someone else - they’ll stab you in the front not the back - which is why it ain’t Theo. Plus, the pack, mostly Liam, were selfless, heroic people and Theo became that from being around them - very Pisces chameleon-esque qualities. Also, Theo is so bloody open and emotional. He was in the tunnels with Stiles for like two seconds and soon enough was going off unleashing all his emotions spiralling like ‘I was nine year old, I also believed a red guy came to deliver presents, do you think I had any idea what was going on’ full on having an outburst. He also does this with Liam in the hospital all like ‘What do you think I was doing down there? Catching up on childhood memories?’, he’s literally the least guarded, most reactive person ever lol. Him crying a million times in his two season timespan, with the Sherriff and with Scott lying about Stiles and the doctors telling he was a failure in S5 and in hell and when Liam told him he was sending him back in S6 is also very Pisces. Him being toyed around by Deucalion and Scott through most of 5B so easily is also very characteristic of Pisces’ gullible nature. Wants to prove he’s not a failure, wants to prove he’s a good person, wants to prove he’s powerful, always wants validation - very Pisces. In Season 6, he shows a lot of compassion, empathy and patience on several occasions which is also characteristic of Pisces. His loneliness and finding company in a spider is very Pisces as well. Pisces are also very attached to their subconscious and the realm of dreams so his trauma from hell showing up as nightmares or when he zones out and when he gets to the hospital because of the trauma - very Pisces.

[alyimoss]

I don’t actually know anything about your underswap I’d love to hear about it!

explodes ok so.

this ended up being the length of the average one-shot so it has to go under the cut

tbf my underverse is not super developed. i mostly just have. sans, papyrus, alphys, and undyne figured out (though not fully) and the rest im still thinking through. but nevertheless i love my swaps and would die for them.

between those four, the swaps are pretty standard (so sans and papyrus swap, and so do alphys and undyne), but they generally have a bit more like?? backstory as to why they are the way that they are?? my underswap is like. base ut but something went sideways and now shit's weird. so these characters, for the most part, started out like their classic counterparts, and this is why my swaps have more of their base ut traits than some other swaps.

like- for example, my swap papyrus started out more or less like classic papyrus. he's energetic and ambitious and he puts his all into the things that he does and he believes in everyone!! but he lets his reality wear him down more than classic: where classic keeps up his "fake it til you make it" kind of attitude towards his own popularity and just keeps trying even if he fails, my swap pap realizes that no matter what he does, he's not the person he wants to be. he wants to be the cool popular guy that everyone wants to be friends with, but… through years of rejection and failure, he eventually resigns himself to just being some fucking guy. not important. forgettable.

so he stops trying. he stops trying to make friends, trying to put himself out there, etc. the thought of joining the royal guard doesnt even cross his mind because he'd preemptively decided that its pointless — he wont get in and hell just make a fool of himself trying. why bother? the funny thing, though, is that, as a papyrus, i guess he can never truly stop trying, because he kind of does a 180 here. instead of being some cool extrovert popular guy, he assumes the persona of just the average guy. he masks his effort levels, trying to make it seem like he's someone who really doesnt try that hard (because he doesnt want to look like a tryhard), so like for example, where classic papyrus speaks in all caps to show his effort (and classic sans, conversely, speaks in all lowercase to show the exact opposite thing), my swap papyrus speaks with proper capitalizations because thats what normal, average people do!! and hes just a perfectly normal, average guy… just your average, completely forgettable rando…

i guess at his core, hes someone influenced wildly by shame and a fear of being his true self, because he doesnt see that self as being worthy enough because it doesnt fit his specific criteria (this is smthn that also applies to classic papyrus, at least to a certain extent, but thats not what im here to yap abt)

and then his spiral into depression is what pushes my swap sans into becoming a proper swap. he, like classic, knows about the timeline and resets and whatnot, and has, too, given up. why bother? nothing matters. except then he looks around and he sees the townspeople notice. his friends at the bar ask if hes okay, and when he blatantly lies to them, he can feel their hopes dwindle. he feels the whole town almost become darker, heavier. he cant fathom himself having this kind of impact on others, but he feels it and even if its not his fault, if its just a byproduct of them all being stuck underground for so damn long, he feels like hes doing something wrong. he feels guilty. and then he sees papyrus. his brother, who had always shined like the brightest star in the sky, giving up and losing hope and hiding away from the world. and sans feels responsible.

so he does the only thing he can think of — he decides to try. of course, that doesnt mean that he actually feels any better. he doesnt think this will do anything in the larger scheme of things. but he cant stand seeing his brother like that. he cant stand the guilt. and so he becomes more like classic papyrus — he enrolls in the guard, he makes rounds around snowdin, he cooks and cleans and drags his brother out of the house with him. and even if he has no energy and he feels like hes drowning but the waves are still crashing on top of him one after the other, he keeps going because anything is better than the feeling of failure.

this is where id go in on his backstory and why he feels this way about failure, but. i kind of. dont have anything. and anyway i keep these two's backstories brief in most aus bc canonically we do not know what the fuck is up w them and i dont know if we ever will. and really im fine with that, the mystery makes them. but yeah anyway, due to circumstances, my swap sans is riddler with guilt and the fear of failure, and he will do anything to prove he is not a failure, that he can at least do something right.

oh and also speaking of guilt, papyrus notices this change in his brother. and he recognizes that he has a part in it. and as grateful as he is for his brother's attempts to cheer him up, he also feels immensely guilty because he can see better than anyone else in the whole underground just how much his brother's self-imposed duty weighs on him. he blames himself for letting himself get so bad that now his brother is suffering from it as well, but he also cant get any better. cue the self-loathing cycle. anyway, as a result, he ends up sharing less with sans. its a means of lessening his burden — if he doesnt know the things going wrong in papyrus's life, he wont have to waste time and energy on him and wont have to have more on his already overloaded plate!! its the perfect plan except they drift apart and now their closeness feels so surface-level and papyrus feels guilty about lying and he knows his brother is still worried, perhaps moreso now that he knows less and he's so scared theyll drift further apart but he's committed fully to this so he just keeps digging the hole and he doesnt know how to stop. (theyre still close, but less so than the classic bros, id say)

ok enough abt those two alphyne time.

these two are actually. less developed. and theres one specific part ill talk abt a bit later that im rlly not sure what to do with. but anyway. they, too, had their original roles at first. undyne, the rambunctious, hotheaded kid who kept getting into fights and couldnt sit still long enough to read one paragraph, and alphys, the nerdy kid who practically lived at the dump, collecting comics and anime… and yeah they somehow ended up the royal scientist and head of the royal guard, respectively.

i havent fully thought through why undyne would end up the scientist, but itd probably have something to do with injury. she keeps her eye injury in my swap. but as evidenced by base ut, a simple missing eye cant stop undyne! so she probably had a more. extensive injury, likely coupled with other factors. im not fully sure what happens, but what i am sure of is i want her to have a similar focus on robotics as alphys. she decides that if she cant fulfill the hopes and dreams of monsterkind on the frontlines, she'll become a different kind of hero. i think she mostly makes prosthetics, likely coupling them with weaponry bc thats just cool. she finds the best ways to combine mobility and magic efficiency and is widely respected by monsters for what she does (also, if youre wondering why monsters would need prosthetics when they have op healing and are made of magic, it comes from my personal theory that the longer a wound is left unhealed, the harder it is to heal it perfectly. so like, for example, it's possible to use magic healing to do things like reattach limbs. it will work as long as the recipient of the healing isnt dead. however, this reattachment needs to happen quick. depending on how long you wait, you could lose significant mobility in the limb, or just not be able to attach it at all. also, theres monsters like monster kid who dont have certain limbs. so i guess where some monsters get prosthetics to replace lost body parts, others get them to have entirely new body parts. anyway.)

meanwhile, alphys becomes a guard through a series of events. i think she signs up to be a sentry in hotland or something at first, because positions were open and they didnt exactly have many requirements, and she needed money. she ended up being like- exceptional. she's detail oriented and driven and is good at problem-solving, and her reviews were always stellar, so at some point i think she was approached about a promotion. which i think she took because, again, money. i think the guard has good benefits and pay.

to explain how she becomes the head of the guard, i want to take a moment to talk abt the guard in my swap. because toriel is the queen and is not thrilled at the prospect of killing humans, i think the guard isnt a thing at all until a couple humans in. i think several were less than friendly, killing several monsters. at first, when people brought this up, i think toriel would defend the humans by saying that they were just scared or acting in self-defense etc. but 1) i doubt monsters particularly liked their ruler defending people who killed their loved ones and 2) the human that got the guard established was. probably pretty bad. dont ask me which soul this was, i wont tell you bc i dont know. but they killed a sizeable number of monsters, to the point where not even toriel could defend them. they were probably the only human she killed (ill get to that later). after their death, the guard was established. still not really to kill humans as much as to ensure they got to the queen quickly and safely, as well as to protect monsters in case a particularly violent human fell down.

anyway yeah with this context, alphys was more fitting to be the head of the royal guard than undyne, id say. she's less violent and more mindful than undyne. i think toriel herself talked to her about becoming head of the guard. she said no at first, i think. she still had her ambitions of being a scientist, she was just doing this whole guard thing for the money. i think what pushed her to accepting was undyne getting the position of royal scientist.

this is another part im. not fully sure of. theres something that gets toriel's attention in regard to undyne, but i really dont know what. maybe just her reputation as someone who's making monster lives better day by day. toriel wants to give someone like that more resources and more voice as hope dwindles in the underground (i think its a bot of a more bleak situation in underswap like theyre just. sad. for reason and not. because where in base ut the underground is full of hope because they only need one human soul before theyre freed, interspersed with quiet dread because they dont know when they'll get that final soul, i think its more of the latter in my swap. theres more reason to this but ill touch on that in a bit).

anyway yeah undyne becomes the royal scientist and alphys is like welp. and accepts the position of head of the royal guard on the condition that she is trained to fight (as a member of the guard already, she had some training, but being the head is like. a whole other ballpark, yknow?) and yeah she as a character is. still pretty unsure of herself. she's a bit more confident than classic alphys because of her position and her training, but she's still got a lotta self-loathing and self-esteem issues. she still has her stutter, but she's managed to work through it enough to give speeches and shit without stuttering. catch her off-guard tho and she'll stutter and generally be kinda awkward (her stutter is like one of my fav things abt her as someone who also has a stutter i will never get rid of it ever).

she's very unsure of herself as a leader and constantly wonders if shes worthy of this position. she thinks she got it by pure luck when someone better suited couldve gotten it instead. i think she felt very resentful at the beginning, too. abt someone else getting the job of royal scientist before her. and its interspersed with the self loathing like "of course someone else got it before you, what did you ever do to work towards it? god, why did you accept this job? you shouldve just done fast food or something. or just stuck to science as best you couldve. god, no wonder someone got it before you. youre not worthy of it." i think she held a sort of resentment toward undyne too at first, but after they met and she realized that undynes. kinda chill, actually, she felt incredibly guilty about it. its not like she did this on purpose, she doesnt deserve this hatred…

anyway yeah shes head of the royal guard and she hires sans and trains him and their training is half actual training and half just fucking around and watching anime/movies and whatever. and her training/fighting i think are more. formulaic than classic undyne's. she's more about plan and strategy than raw power. also her section would still be in hotland. mostly because i didnt want to put undyne in hotland bc she hates it. lmao.

anyway undyne!! i think she has some regrets about not being able to become the hero she'd dreamed of being, but she also has come to accept her new role. she's more or less satisfied being who she is. she's one of the few characters who doesnt really feel that pressure of "was i supposed to be something else?" in this au. because at the end of the day, her goal stays the same: help monsterkind and crush humanity!! and she can do that as a nerd, too. i think toriel isnt too thrilled abt her attitude toward humans, but theres not much she can do abt it. i think the underswap underground is generally like. slightly less hostile to humans than undertale? (because the queen doesnt want humans dead, but monsters remember the hurt theyve suffered at the hands of humans) but undyne grew up on stories of the war from gerson and stuff like that, so she feels pretty strongly abt who's right and who's wrong and what should be done about that. i do also think she knows asgore, but this is a part im not fully sure of because i dont fucking know what to do with asgore.

also alphyne are still canon of course they are. this isnt glitchtale. they probably also meet at the dump, as alphys is contemplating things and undyne is searching around for junk to work on. and they talk and share their theories about where that creepy void leads. and they start hanging out and alphys shows undyne anime (and inspires her to go crazier with her prosthetics and other robotics works) and they work on battle strategies as a way of flirting /hj. and theres one problem that they kinda share bc i dont know what to do with it. that being the amalgamates.

so its unclear if the amalgamates would even exist in this au actually, but if they do i have two routes i can go with them i think: 1) undyne is the one responsible for them, but she doesnt lie and hide about it (not that i think she could do that much bc toriel would be expecting reports and stuff). she tells everyone whats going on, letting them see their families and whatnot, but still working on them and trying to figure out how to. fix them. and as a result theres just. amalgamates shambling around the underground sometimes. and the last human runs into them sometimes and gets freaked out and it serves as this foreshadowing moment to who undyne is as a character and serves to paint her as someone absolutely terrifying (which isnt necessarily true but also not necessarily untrue). or 2) alphys is the one responsible.

deciding to do one final science thing because fuck it, shes got nothing to lose (she has everything to lose), she decides to try to make a monster's soul last after death. how would she do this in a position where she cant easily get access to the things she'd need? god fucking knows. the main thing about this route is that it adds even more guilt to alphys's plate, which is pretty fitting for her as a character. and also guilt hi hello another guilt mention. this seemed more thought out in my head moving on.

some minor details abt this swap also are that mtt and mew mew are swapped, and mew mew is a popular streamer (and livestreams herself kicking your ass); bp and catty and bratty are swapped just bc i think its funny; grillby and muffet are in a weird territory of swap. i think theyre swapped but still in the same places as base game (bc grillby likes the cold and muffet will literally die dont do this to her), and maybe grillby gets the miniboss instead of muffet (she just forces you to give her money lolol).

and now the final thing: the dreemurrs. listen. i do not know what the fuck to do with these guys. they kinda fuck with the whole story if swapped in ways that are. not good at all. im including chara and frisk in "the dreemurrs" btw for reasons.

because like- we know what toriel would do if she was queen. she tells us. she would get one soul, cross the barrier, get six more, and then free the underground. and if she did that, there would be no story to tell. so. and asgore couldnt just lock himself in the ruins or smthn like toriel does in base ut, because toriel would break that fucking door down trying to get to him because she knows the humans come from the ruins, and she does not trust asgore in the slightest. and i dont even want to touch on the implications of asriel being alive in underswap. so i do not know what to do with him period. chara and frisk seem like a simple swap, but. theyre still distinct characters, whose personalities and actions do have an effect on the plot of undertale. and swapping them has repercussions. mostly in shit like philosophy which im notoriously bad at. so for now im just not thinking abt them.

ok back to toriel and asgore. i have like. an inkling of an idea as to what to do with them. that idea being that asgore, angry after the deaths of his children, wants to wage war, but toriel gets wind of the idea before he's able to make an official declaration, and grows absolutely disgusted with him. she banishes him and assumes the position of single ruler of the underground. i honestly dont know what to do with asgore past this point, but i do know that at least in the beginning, he is under strict supervision (likely by gerson bc gerson).

so what does toriel do as queen? she waits for a human to fall. she welcomes them as she did the first one. she does not take their soul. she cares for them and gives them the best life she can. as they grow older, she talks to them about using their soul to cross the barrier after they die. and they agree. the first (second) human dies of old age after a good, peaceful life in the underground. toriel absorbs their soul, crosses the barrier… and is nearly killed by the humans, still fearful and angry because it hasn't been that long since the last time they saw a monster. she goes back, deciding to instead wait a little longer. in that time, another human falls, then another… but after the first soul, i think most dont die of old age. several die by accident, several are killed in self defense. as mentioned above, at some point the guard is established due to the violence of one of the humans. toriel doesnt absorb these souls, instead keeping them safe in containment.

we know that when a human's soul is absorbed, they still persist (as evidenced by 1) asriel telling us that chara told him to do things and had control over their body when he absorbed their soul and 2) the photoshop flowey fight), i think toriel kind of feared losing herself and/or hurting the humans somehow by absorbing their souls. and with some of the more violent humans, i think the fears of losing herself grew stronger. so yeah she chooses to wait until the humans no longer fear/want to kill monsters or whatever.

and this has influence on the underground of course because imagine your ruler acquires the necessary means to cross the seal trapping you underground and you think that finally, finally youre free!! and then she comes right back like "yeah uh actually they still want us dead so lets wait a bit longer…"

how crushing is that? knowing that not only was your freedom a lie, you now know for sure that the humans outside want you dead? that chances are that even if you do manage to leave the underground, youll either be killed or forced right back under? this i think is a major reason the underswap underground is lacking in hope compared to the undertale underground. but yeah i. dont know if ill end up going with this, actually. because, again, i do not know what the fuck to do with the dreemurrs and i hate it.

another thing im not sure of is the whole "sans's promise to toriel" thing?? bc i kinda still wanna have that in some form, yknow? and i think it works if he's a guard and shes the queen. he visits her at some point to do a report or smthn (maybe bc alphys is busy who knows) and he notices shes looking kinda gloomy. so he gives her his best knock knock joke and she absolutely loves it. so he keeps going and then she gives him a couple of her own and yeah you get it. i just like sans and toriel they are the besties ever.

anyway yeah i think?? thats it?? for now, anyway. i probably forgot to mention smthn but who cares this is like. wayyyy too fucking long already anyways. thank you for letting me yap, i will continue to do so… forever.